“Don’t take yourself so seriously.” A simple sentence, which nevertheless is often difficult for all of us in extreme situations. “Don’t take yourself so g-damn seriously” (The Art of Possibility, p. 79), Rosamund Stone Zander and Benjamin Zander also say in their book, The Art of Possibility. They describe a variety of thought-provoking approaches to communication in groups under pressure to perform that can be applied very well to transformation projects. Stone Zander & Zander even formulate the golden rule – “Rule Number 6,” as they call it – as the foundation that makes transformation possible in the first place.
Particularly in transformation projects, where team members from different areas of the company and hierarchical levels often have to learn to work together with great pressure of expectations, the golden rule can strengthen an appreciative communication culture and team cohesion. Because although the performance of the whole team matters, it is made up of individuals with a wide variety of backgrounds, motivations and sensitivities. Especially under stress, some people show a tendency to self-portrayal or pomposity for very different reasons; others tend to dramatize, get frustrated, or annoy the team with escalations and power plays. According to Stone Zander & Zander, behind this is a fear of failure, which is rooted in a classic hierarchical imprint in which one must show strength in order to survive conflicts.
Stone Zander and Benjamin Zander counter this with a focus on the golden rule: According to Stone- Zander & Zander, if you don’t take yourself so seriously and put aside your own pride, you open yourself up to a new mindset that’s about conflict resolution instead of competition; the focus shifts from your own advancement to a common goal. Establishing this golden rule, which a team agrees on together in an honest exchange, thus promotes cooperative teamwork and helps employees take things a little easier in an escalating situation. By referencing the golden rule, you can share a common joke with a wink to establish a sense of community. Stuck and acrimonious situations can be resolved by using a code word to reference a game-changing moment when you and the team collectively agreed on the golden rule. In this way, high-boiling situations can be humorously grounded from within the team itself.
